I have a craving

Usually when someone says such a line, they're always referring to some sort of food item; unless they're a sex addict then the situation becomes quite intense for them. Since I'm neither pregnant nor am I really hungry, my hunger is connected to an atmosphere. Sounds strange but just stay with me for a moment and I'll explain further. I'm a wallflower who chooses such because I prefer to absorb the atmosphere as oppose to the spotlight like those fame seeking whores that I've seen a few times too many. To me, the right atmosphere can make for the best time. If the element is stiff or too quiet than it will make for one interesting night. In high school, I always enjoyed the sounds of the conversation mixing with the slamming of locker doors with the bell rings adding a fine layer to the mix. When I was in college, I loved in the hallways of the various buildings and listen as educators and students talked about the most random things without there being a code of conduct to hold them back; for example, I once heard my Aesthetics of Cinema instructor speak to one of my classmates about the pros and cons about on-line dating. For me, I can be quite happy just by walking around a mall without a reason to buy anything. To listen to naive individuals as they gossip about celebrities, sex, food and the most random enjoyments can actually be quite educating. But for this particular craving, I'm actually craving holiday atmospheres; particularly Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not only do I crave those two dates in particular but I also crave the need for the atmosphere of the stores during those time periods. From the Friday before Thanksgiving to that Wednesday night before is quite intense for the day we celebrate the pilgrims and everything connected to their discovery. If you work in a grocery story then you have my sympathy. I've seen madness and I've seen chaos and I've enjoyed every minute of it. There is a rush of trying to find the right bird and finding all of the popular side dishes. Potatoes, both fresh and instant, fly off the shelves. Booze is quick to disappear as is boxes of stuffing and cans of cranberry sauce. Once the stomach has been stuffed, most leave to stand in some line at a retail store so that they can get the jump start on the winter holidays which brings a nice transition to my other favorite atmosphere: shopping for the winter holidays. The chaos and the rush is simply spectacular. The rush to find THE perfect gift (or any gift for that matter) is seen as this Wrestlemania take down but in reality, its all just one surprise after another. So why is it that I crave such feelings during the warmer months? I would normally shrug my shoulders but I believe I have an answer. Since this seems to be an annual event for me, I believe I have finally recognized the root of my problem. During those amazing weeks, I find myself caught up in the moment that I do not take a second to step back and look around. Now that I have the time and energy to just review everything that goes on, I yearn for such days. I suppose all of this sounds ridiculous to you now but when the time arrives, you will see what I mean.